Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Hilarious Review of Taal - Robert Ebert

I just came across this awesome review of Taal. The man has written things he felt as an American while watching the Subhash Ghai movie. I found it really funny.

Here's an excerpt from his review -

Now comes a scene of such peculiar eroticism that you will have to take my word for it -- it was sexy. At a reception, the heroine scratches her chin. The hero, across the room, scratches his chin. The heroine touches her nose. The hero touches his nose. She brushes back her hair. He brushes back his hair. What fills him with maddening desire is that she does not reveal by even a flicker of an eyelid that she notices him doing this. She is a good girl, and will not make eye contact, even though they have held hands.

Trays of soft drinks are brought around. She takes a bottle of Coke and sips through a straw. He takes a Coke and sips through a straw. "Coca-Cola is sponsoring this movie," Uma explains. Product placement is up front in India.

The hero removes the straw and drinks from the bottle with his lips. The woman does not seem to notice. He puts the bottle back on the tray, and tells the waiter to take the tray to where the heroine is standing with her girlfriends. The waiter offers her the tray. Will her lips touch the same Coke bottle as his? Or will she choose Thums Up cola (without the "b"), the other leading Indian brand? The suspense is unbearable. She rejects the tray. But then -- this is cinema at its best! -- her girl friend reaches for the same bottle, and the heroine snatches it away. She DID notice! She was looking all the time!

Now the heroine is holding the Coke bottle herself. Does she drink from it? I would like to tell you, I really would, but this is a family newspaper.

Read the full review here.

Ghajini - Definition of a Blockbuster

Aamir Khan, take a bow! Ghajini is a one man show, to say the least. The brutal anger he displays throughout the movie is insanely well done!

There are few actors who can express anger, despair, pain and suffering all of them at once without uttering a word. Amitabh Bachchan is one and Aamir is the other. There is no Khan who can match Aamir in terms of acting and now with Ghajini, he's setting the box office on fire like never seen before. His body, unlike the much hyped 6-pack SRK body in OSO, is a real, built-up body.

I had once remarked on this very blog on the initial poster of Ghajini, that the poster looked morphed, well I stand corrected. Aamir has proved that he is the best in the business.

He is the only actor who can, at 40 convincingly romance girls in their 20's with the same effortlessness he displayed in his youth.

He can also convince the audience with his expressions that he is capable of thrashing the pulp out of goons twice his size without making it seem too much like a Rajnikant flick.

Asin, the female lead in the movie has little to do apart from acting like a goody-two-shoes and stealing the audience sympathy; in order to justify the brutal violence that Aamir unleashes throughout the movie. She does that well enough. Her death scene is the ultimate sympathy stealer of the year.

Now about the villain, Ghajini. I heard a lot of criticism about the casting of the villain. But quite frankly no matter who was cast as Ghajini, the guy hardly had any dialogues, all he had to do was look like the bad guy. After the death scene mentioned above, people would have approved of anything that Sanjay Singhania would do to avenge Kalpana's death.

Aamir's intensity and versatile acting is the strength of this movie and the director must be given credit to remake a South Indian flick [which itself was a loose cop of Memento] into a full scale Hindi Blockbuster.

Kudos to you Aamir. This is the most entertaining movie of the year.

Summary - I also saw the trailer of CC2C, but after Singh Is Kinng, I have no faith left in Akshay Kumar movies. Aamir hyped a product like Ghajini and hyped it as a masala entertainer, it turned out to be a masala movie. SIK was touted to be a comedy, it was b***sh*t! SRK movies are for SRK fans, period. Abhishek ruined whatever reputation he had with Drona. Salman had a dreadful year. Hrithik took a risk with Jodhaa Akbar and pulled it off. But undoubtedly the most entertaining flick of the year has been Ghajini.

Ghajini could have been a disaster at the box office, based solely on the script, but the direction was good, mostly the performances were good, but the powerhouse performance by Aamir, which will go down as one of his all time best performances is the reason why cinema halls are chock a block full. If Bollywood masala movies are to be made henceforth, then Ghajini is the benchmark to measure upto.

PS - For those who went to see Ghajini and came back complaining that it's a no-brainer, well come on, the promotional campaign made it quite clear that it is indeed an intentional no-brainer. Also people claiming excessive use of violence, the first trailer itself showed the kind of action the movie was filled with, so quit complaining and if you're such a high level intellectual then, I don't think you should be seeing masala movies like Ghajini.
Predictions -
Best Actor - Aamir [Hrtihik had a chance until Ghajini, but alas, we'll wait for his 2009 flicks]
Best Film - Ghajini
Best Music - A R Rehman for Jaaney Tu
Best Director - Whoever directed Rock On! [Unless Yash Raj hijacks the award ceremony and has the award given away to Adi Chopra for RNBDJ]

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Spirit

The only movie this year to have generated as much buzz as The Dark Knight, has been The Spirit. This movie directed by Frank Miller [creator of Sin City] promises to be a massive blockbuster.

The star cast includes Gabriel Macht as The Spirit, Samuel L Jackson as his nemesis - The Octopus; and if that in itself isn't good enough for you, here is an array of divas in femme fatale roles which makes this an unmissable flick. It is a crime to not watch a movie with the likes of -

Eva Mendez

Scarlett Johansson

Paz Vega

Sarah Paulson

Jaime King

I'm gonna watch this movie first day, first show. I suggest you do the same!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Matrix Reloaded - Cartoon Spoof

Here's something I stumbled upon randomly.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Some ground rules for Orkut users

1. Guys don't put profile pics of MALE MODELS - it's freaking scary to see a topless dude instead of your dear schoolmate.

2. Girls must put up either their own pics [if attractive] or those of attractive women. ;)

3. Dont go around creating self-promotional communities like - "I Know Sonu" or some weird thing like that.

4. A testimonial is a place where you describe your friends qualities and stuff, not a place where you copy paste crap like "Friend" written out of slashes and exclamation marks.

5. If you want to wish someone Happy Birthday, then at least spell it right - there was this scrap I saw once which said 'happy bfay'

6. Your Orkut name should tell us who you are. There are some people who's Orkut names are so discreet you need to read their testimonials and see their communities to guess who they are. How do I know who '--(((O_O)))--' is?

Slumdog Millionaire Music Review

Ok, I've now heard the entire soundtrack and even without having seen the movie I can tell you that it'll be fantastic for the movie as a background score. I wont waste time writing a review on all the songs, I'll just write about the must-hear songs.

1. Oh Sayaa - Sung by A R Rehman and M.I.A. this one is a totally different track which will tell you how different this soundtrack is going to be as compared to Rehman's other work.

2. Mausam & Escape - Brilliant! Simply an amazing instrumental composition, which is a breath of fresh air in the world of congested sounds that we live in. With this track Rehman proves that he can actually develop music rather than just direct.

3. Paper Planes - By M.I.A. this one is an international smash hit single which Rehman has used in the album. A really nice song.

4. Paper Planes (DFA Mix) - A rehash of the previous song, gets a little more of a club feel to it.

5. Latika's Theme - Melody on display, that's what this soft instrumental is all about.

6. Jai Ho - Sukhwinder gives this album the first track which could have been on a normal Hindi film soundtrack.

A R Rehman will obviously sweep all the Indian awards this year... Jodhaa Akbar, Jaany Tu Ya Jaane Naa, Yuvvraaj and Ghajini were by far the best soundtracks this year. All four were chart topping albums and it's a sad thing that no other composition by any other music director comes even close to giving Rehman any competition in India. He's rightly been called The Mozart of India. He's been nominated for a Golden Globe and I hope he gets an Oscar nomination as well. Winning either of these would be a great thing. I really feel if any current Indian musician deserves a Grammy, it is A R Rehman. The guy is a genius!

Monday, December 15, 2008

I Play For India... Now, more than ever - Sachin

The best thing about being a Sachin fan is that he gives you so much to be proud of. Almost every month he does something that brings joy to the entire country. Today he completed one of the 2 so called incomplete tasks his critics keep talking about, he scored a century in the 4th innings on the last day and India won. The only other incomplete task he needs to complete is to win a World Cup for India, while the latter task can wait for a couple of years we can celebrate his achievement today.

It all began with Virender Sehwag unleashing hell on the unsuspecting Englishmen who felt they were safe with a total of 386. India needed 387 and in an hour's time Sehwag changed the outlook of the game, he ended up getting a deserved Man of the Match award.

But the highlight of the game was the masterclass of Sachin Tendulkar. He played exceptional cricket, not for a moment did you think India was in trouble once he came down to bat. Yuvraj Singh bettered all expectations and did a fine job to support India's win. In fact at a stage it looked like he might even go on and steal the century away from Sachin. Yuvraj then played out a few dot balls which were cheered by the crowds who wanted to see a Sachin century and there were too few runs to get for both Sachin and Yuvraj to score hundreds. Eventually Sachin scored a couple of boundaries and made it to his 41st Test century with another boundary which also brough up India's historic win.

Some pics related to the game -

Here's a little excerpt from an article on Cricinfo about Sachin. It is an awesome set of lines which truly describe what this genius means to India:

Those that aren't Indian struggle to fathom exactly what Tendulkar means to so many millions, and it's doubtful whether even those that live here really comprehend just how much a part of the national consciousness he has become. He is such a unifying force, a personality capable of stirring the emotions in every nook and corner of a vast land. And in these times of distress and anger, it was so very appropriate that it would be Tendulkar who put the smiles back on at least a few faces.

Thanks a billion Sachin.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Kaise Mujhe - Lyrics

Of all the songs from the soundtrack of Ghajini, my favorite is Kaise Mujhe Tu Mil Gayi. A great composition by A R Rehman, the lyrics are really deep and meaningful. Listen to the song at the dead of the night and you'll really like it.

Hoo hooo oooo..
Hoo hoo hooo…
Hooo hooo…

Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi,
Kismat pe aaye naa yaakeen,
Utar aayi jheel mein jaise chand utarta hai kabhi,
Haule haule dheere se,
Gunguni dhoop ki tarah se taranum mein tum,
Choo ke mujhe guzari hu yu,
Dekhu tumhe ya mein sunu,
Tum ho sukoon, tum ho junoon,
Kyu pehle naa aayi tum?
Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi, hoo hoo..
Kismat pe aaye naa yaakeen, hoo hoo..

Mein to yeh sochta tha ki aaj kal,
Upar wale ko fursat nahi,
Phir bhi tumhe bana ke woh,
Meri nazar mein chadh gaya,
Rutbe mein woh aur badh gaya..


Badle raaste jharne aur nadi,
Badli deep ki timtim,
Chedhe zindagi dhun koi nayee,
Badli barkha ki rimjhim,
Badlengi rituyein adaa,
Par mein rahungi sada,
Ussi tarah teri bahon mein baahein daalke,
Har lamha, har pal..

Zindagi sitar ho gayi,
Rimjhim malhaar ho gayi,
Mujhe aata nahi kismat pe apni yakeen,
Kaise mujhko mili tum..

Great lyrics Mr. Prasoon Joshi!

The Recession Misreporting

A nice article I read recently about how the media always highlights the darker side of any story.
This article is a nice read in times when dooms-day-reporters are having a field day because of the on-going recession.
Everyone knows that a recession is on, but only reporting negatives and overlooking the positives is something that the media has made into a trend.
Do take a look at that article.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Can an Engineer go to heaven... ever?

Answer - No according the the 7 cardinal sins. Yes if you believe that once your sins have been repented for, you go to heaven.

To explain this useless hypothesis, I use excerpts from Wikipedia and other inputs from in-depth research into engineers' minds.

The seven deadly sins are as follows:


Lust - This one is self explanatory, a bunch of teenagers moving into their twenties.. come on!

Gluttony - "gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste."

Greed - Hey, I have 2 jobs, why can't I have 3?

Sloth - "a student who does not work beyond what is required (and thus fails to achieve his or her full potential) could be labeled slothful."

The part in Italics is what Wikipedia says about sloth. Well Wikipedia content writers... the definition of an engineer is "a student who does not work beyond what is required", all engineers are proud of it, so f**k your explanation of sloth!

Wrath - (or anger or "Rage") may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger.
There is no questioning the fact that every engineer must have faced the wrath of some professor therefore creating feelings of wrath for that said professor. Sometimes even a textbook can face the wrath of an engineering student!

Envy - "How did that idiot convince that girl to date him? He cleared that apti? I wrote the same answer but he got 1 mark more!"
Envy could be because your rival has a better job or a better chic or in the worst case, a better job and a better chic! There can be a million possibilities for committing this sin.

Pride - "It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them"

So all engineers are definitely sinners according to the above 7 sins. But each day of engineering is more than enough a punishment for the deadly sins. Hence, all engineers do end up with a guaranteed placement in heaven, of course no one is in a hurry to get there!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Why is this blog like this?

The word "gall" means brazen boldness coupled with impudent assurance and insolence.

Ok, a friend of mine actually had the gall to ask me, "why is ur blog like this?". I asked him to elaborate, he said... "It's mostly not-serious, you don't tell anything about your personal life, you mostly discuss COEP, TV, movies, books, girls, cricket... there's no real life thing!"

Well, so before any of you ever have such a query in your mind, here's my detailed answer:

1. If you are looking for answers to questions in life, don't look for them on my blog.
2. Writing "serious stuff" on a blog will not kill terrorists or improve/worsen the state of our nation.
3. My blog is not a personal diary so I don't write crap about my personal life.
4. I do write a lot about Girls, but then those posts are usually accompanied by hot photos of them, so even if you don't want to read the content, I think you shouldn't feel let down.
5. I assume people who visit my blog are literate and hence there is a possibility they may be interested in books, that's why I write about books.
6. I like cricket, a lot of people I know like cricket, no harm in writing about cricket.
7. TV and Movies, if you eliminate those 2, then apart from the internet, we're back in the 16th century.
8. "There's no real life thing..." I don't really have an answer to that one, wtf is a "real life thing"? Well anyways here's my answer, if you want a "real life thing", get off your computer and go into the "real life" and you may just find a "thing"

There are different types of bloggers, some people put every moment of their life on their blog, so here's me showing you what different genre blogs could look like...

1. The kind of blog where people write stuff about their personal life -

Today was a nice day, I am feeling good.... At 2 pm I had lunch with my friends. Then I went to sleep. I woke up, and I realized I had feelings for Rohini. Oh Rohini, if you are reading this, I love you!


2. The kind of blog where people write down every mundane detail about their life -

I sat down in front of the computer, I pushed the power on button, it took a minute to start, I logged on to the Internet, I opened my blog, I started typing, I am feeling sleepy while typing this, I wonder if the readers also go to sleep while reading this blog... zzzzzzzzz.


3. The kind of blog where people write stuff about relationships -

Day 1: Sometimes in life one wakes up in the morning and wonders, why don't I have a partner. Someone who I can share my life with.

Day 2: I saw this girl today in college, she was hot, I'll ask her out tomorrow

Day 3: She has a boy friend... sniff sniff :(

Day 400: She finally broke up with that idiot, now's my chance. Don't worry baby, I will be your man!

Day 401: Someone already asked her out... sniff sniff :(

Day 500: I will wait for her!

Day 900: She got married... to someone else, on the bright side, I met this girl in office, she is hot, I think I'll ask her out tomorrow

[And the cycle continues]


4. The kind of blog where people only write serious stuff -

Yes, our country is in deep trouble... yes we need to change. Politicians are corrupt and inept. Where is India's Obama?
There is this really hot model who I saw at the airport, she is a Victoria's Secret Fashion Model, but I won't write about her or post a picture of her, because the important thing is, the airport security needs to be commented upon. It was really inept. Why focus on a super model when I can comment on the nation's security?
I am sure that the Prime Minister or some Minister will read my blog and have an epiphany about the way our country should be governed. Hell... maybe I can rewrite the Constitution on my blog!


Ok, now this post has become way to long... but the point is, blogging about serious stuff or non-serious stuff is a personal choice, the important part is that if someone is wasted enough to view your blog, he shouldn't be let down. If he expects a serious blog, he can go to serious blogs, but on this blog if you expect serious posts, well I'm sorry. If you think you'll get a juicy piece of gossip on the blog, you'll be let down.

But if you want to read about some nice shows which are worth recommending, or about some movies, or frustrated but comic episodes of a COEP Engineer's life, or just some useless but fun stuff... this is not a bad place!

30 Rock... rocks!

30 Rock:

Here's a show that I've started watching very recently and it is simply brilliant. It has echoes of the sarcastic banality and narcissism of Seinfeld along with some solid content. Every cast member has a well carved role and they're always perfect. Another thing I love about the show is - it doesn't have the cheesy "startup song", which is a huge irritant while watching sitcoms [especially the pain in the ass song of Big Bang Theory which actually is an ok sitcom].

As a Seinfeld fan, it felt great to watch the 1st episode of 30 Rock's 2nd season - Seinfeld Vision. To get to see Jerry Seinfeld in action again was fun, even though it was just a cameo.

Back to the show description - it's basically a show revolving around a bunch of writers and executives working at NBC.

Tine Fey plays the role of Liz Lemon, a writer who is overloaded with work but somehow manages to juggle all the work and tries to have a normal life. The real credit to Tina Fey is that she is the creator of the show and writes most of the episodes.

Tracy Morgan plays the role of Tracy Jordan a troubled former movie star who now works in The Girlie Show. This guy's quotes are hilarious and seriously weird. A few examples of the way this guy thinks -
Tracy Jordan: I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school, and get it pregnant.
Kenneth: [whimsically] Pregnant cornbread...

Tracy Jordan: I love Halo so much, I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
[others laugh]
Kenneth: Why are you laughing so hard? It's just the same joke he said earlier.
Tracy Jordan: That can't be right. I like to keep my material fresh. I like it so fresh I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
[Tracy is seeking a religion for publicity]

Tracy Jordan: So, what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz Lemon: Hmm, I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.

Tracy Jordan: Hey, Jack's brother... What religion are you? This one sounds really expensive and gay.

Eddie Donaghy: Oh, well, uh, I'm Irish Catholic. Now, I know there's been a lot of controversy around the church lately, ya know, because of The Da Vinci Code, but what's great is you can do anything - anything - and as long as you go to confession, it's forgiven.

Tracy Jordan: I'm Irish Catholic.
Ted: Pleasure to have met you.
Tracy Jordan: Damn straight! I'm delightful.
Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."

Tracy Jordan: I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for biggest mirror.

And now for what 's been the best TV performance by a movie celeb in this decade, we have Alec Baldwin, as Jack Donaghy; who has received an Emmy Award, a Golden Globe Award and two Screen Actors Guild Awards for his portrayal of the character.
Alec Baldwin gives the perfect finesse to his character, a man who has answers to almost all questions, an opinion about almost anything and also Liz Lemon's boss and a possible mentor.

Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.
[Jack asks Liz to fire 10 percent of the office staff due to cost cutting]

Jack: Now, there are 140 people on this show, so go out there and make 126 people very happy.


All in all, it's a great show. Intelligent humor, stupid Tracy Jordan jokes and a good range of story arcs. This show is a must-see. Have fun.