Saturday, August 30, 2008

Testing 1...2...3...4

Until an hour back I knew I had 2 tests on Monday [DAA and ACA] , bad ass... but some hope for getting some marks. Then I get a phone call, "Dude we have IS and CC on Tuesday!"
So that makes it 4 tests in 2 days with just 1 day left to prepare. Someone once told me that Final Year was the best year there is in Engg! Yeah right, if you're a masochist, then sure... it is the best!

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Pen is...

Every time we give a pen to someone, it's like a contract has been signed, the pen must be returned - with thanks! If not, then the person goes into our bad pen borrowers list and the next time he wants it, the answer is - No man, I have only one ;)

The problem arises when we lend our pen to a higher power, like a Prof or an HR or someone of that rank. It's like this, after they finish using the pen, they can do 2 things -

1. Either return it
2. Forget about returning it.

If they return it, then that's fine, they smile - thanks you and its over. You smile as if you just saved their lives and the pen was their life support system and then feel good about yourself and your pen; that's it, life goes on.

But... if they forget, wow! The world comes crashing down. What do you do? Well 2 things:

1. Ask for it
2. Forget about it

If you choose option 2, then you always remember the great betrayal. "That man/woman cannot be trusted with a Lexi 5, leave alone anything of higher value!"

But if you ask for it, then there are a lot of complications -

1. The borrower may think that you're accusing them of having bad intentions about your pen.
2. Are you so petty that you're obsessed with a 5 rupee pen?
3. I was about to return it on my own, how dare he ask me!

When is it the right moment to ask for the pen to be returned? What are the right words? I shouldn't sound too aggressive! I shouldn't be submissive! It's my pen, its my pen... give it back you @!#$#@!!!
"Uhhh, excuse me ma'am... uhhh... I think that's my pen... uhhh... hehe..." [WTF I dont "think" it's my pen, it IS my pen, give it back you pen stealing bitch (or bastard if male) ]
"Ohh... I'm so sorry, i must've forgotten, here, thanks a lot" [Ofcourse she forgot, what a louse I am, look at her smile... she obviously forgot, I shouldn't have asked her]
"Your welcome ma'am... thank you"

All of a sudden, you're the one who's feeling bad about asking... what was I thinking man! In fact, she should keep it.

If its a girl and she's hot, then its very tempting to ask her back for the pen, in fact you hope she doesn't give it back on her own and you get a chance to have the upper hand!


Hot girl in the bank forgets her pen. Me having a lucky day have exactly what she needs. She fumbles looking frantically in her purse, but it's not there... thank you lord! You step in, "umm... you can have my pen" She flashes that lovely smile and takes it, by god she is so hot, if i put a picture of her next to a jug of water, the water would turn into steam! "I'll just take five minutes with your pen", she says. You can take as long as you want, babe!
Then she forgets about the ownership rights of the pen and puts it back in her purse. The lord is my savior... now is the time to strike.
[Excuse me, could I have my pen back, and maybe you could write down your phone number with it on a paper and hand that back to me as a return gift]

"Uhhh... I think that's my pen... hehe" [that hehe was unnecessary]
"Ohhh... I'm so sorry... i have such a bad memory... thanks a lot" [Oh man, that smile is oh so sweet]
She gives the pen back... time is slipping away, fuck the phone number, I don't even have her name. Be a man - "My name is..." , the smile on her face becomes wider and she says, "I'm Shweta" [Awesome! Now if only i could get her phone number] But then that's the end of that. Her work is done, she turns around giving me a smile and walks away. Even watching her walk away is a pleasing sight!

Suddenly, I'm the one in front of the counter, the frustrated, fat, hideous lady at the counter needs to sign on a slip, she too can't find her pen. This time, neither can I!

Epilogue -
How many hot chics are there in your bank? How many of them are called Shweta? Not that tough to find someone in that kind of a shortlist. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I finally found a site where some House masterpieces have been posted. This show by far surpasses any show I've ever seen, it's like an unputdownable book, only, it's much better; part of the reason why I've been awake till Sunrise the past 5 days!

House Quotes

House On Imdb

Some of my personal favorites -

Anagram for Gregory House? - Huge ego, sorry.

Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree.

Cameron: "Could pain medication cause an orgasm?"
House: "I wish."

Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies.

Cuddy: "Dr. House! Need you here."
House: "No thanks. Lotta sick people. I might catch something."

Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
Dr. Gregory House: You certainly love saying it.
Dr. Wilson: At least I try.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, as long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want.
Dr. Gregory House: So between us we can do anything. We can rule the world!

Dr. Gregory House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

House is the king of sarcasm, I've noticed how endearing mean and self centered TV characters are such huge successes; cases in point are Barney from How I Met Your Mother and obviously Dr. Gregory House from House M.D. and also Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs; I guess it's because in our heart of hearts we all want to be rude to people we don't really like, we all want to stop pretending like we actually care about formalities or mundane things in life. But we can't, that's because on TV at the end of the day there's always a new episode; for us, we get screwed! So i'll just watch House take out all his frustrations and laugh and enjoy the show!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sunrise to Sunrise

I was talking to Bhushan a few hours ago and he mentioned [jubilantly] that he had been awake all night and then till 7 am sometime last weekend. Now that made me feel insecure about my position of being the Supreme Nocturnal of "the great class of COEP Comp" [yeah Sameer, i said it again ;) ]
So here I am blogging in between episodes of House MD. I wonder who next will challenge my spot at Supreme Nocturnal? Nice try though, by Bhushan!
For the record i'll be awake till 7:30 am!

The Hangal Effect

I'm sure you've heard of AK Hangal. Now the point is, the man practically looked the same from 1970's till the 1990's! I wonder if the process of aging could be arrested at a younger stage? What if he found the 'Fountain Of Youth' - only, he was quite old when he found it.
So here's to Mr. AK Hangal, the quintessential Old Man of Indian Cinema!

Sunday, August 17, 2008


There are loads of crappy ads on TV, but one brand that always delivers knock-out ads each time is AXE. I mean seriously - these guys [am sure only guys can conceive such blatant male fantasy ads] come up with outstanding ads each time. They're so good that even women can't help smirk while watching them.
One particular ad that strikes me i the one where this lone guy on an island starts spraying himself with AXE and all off a sudden, hot women start converging onto him from Air, Land and Sea. That people was an awesome ad! Think of the research they must have done to find so many hot women [for an engineer in COEP, it would've proved an impossible task to find even one AXE worthy babe. No offence girls, I'm not Brad Pitt either; but facts are facts]

Then off late the Kit Kat ad was also good, the one in which the guy bites the Kit Kat and fantasizes about hot women having 'worked on' the Kit Kat!

Now i must mention the 'male innerwear commercials'. Boy oh boy, are there some intellectually bankrupt men making those commercials. Its almost a standard -

1. Some girl is being troubled by some dude
2. Enter guy in just an underwear
3. He kicks the ass of the other dude [who obviously lost only because he didn't use the same brand of undies]
4. Girl just falls crazily in love with guy with underwear
5. Guy with underwear then has the girl in his arms and smiles

Then there was this other ad, slightly better, about a guy and his chic who wants to 'do it' with his girl, but somehow things don't happen; until she stumbles into his room and magically gets seduced by his underwear!
Dude, if you're in a room with a hot girl and you have just 1 piece of clothing on you, am sure that the brand of your innerwear is the last thing she is thinking about. You might as well use Bhilwara Underwear aur Baniyan with as much success as Dollar Club or the greatest of all VIP Frenchie!

Coming back to Axe, they also use subtlety to great effect -

In anticipation of many more awesome Axe ads, here's me ending yet another pointless post!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Singh Is Kinng - WTF!

I spent more than 2 hours of my life watching a movie which should've been banned by the Censor Board for being by far the worst movie with A list actors!
How did Akshay Kumar do this one... come on dude, am sure you ain't that cash starved that you've got to do a movie which is worse than Mr. & Mrs. Khiladi and Aflatoon [which were thus far considered some of your crappiest work till date]!
Katrina Kaif, please learn Hindi... you're hot, that's fine; but please don't ruin that by talking in the worst accented Hindi that beats Salman's accented English!
Om Puri and Kirron Kher were the only funny people in this flick along with Javed Jafferey [his Mica song was one of the few watchable moments in this awful film along with the Snoop Dogg song at the credits]
But what is stupefying is the kind of success this movie is enjoying! Highest grossing opening weekend ever! WTF man! People have you all collectively lost it. Ratings of 3.5 by Rediff - dude are you sure you saw SIK? I give it -5 for all those who care about ratings.

This Independence Day I request all awesome movie Directors like Ashutosh Gowariker to make more than 1 movie in 2 years... please rescue Indian cinema. I saw the deleted scenes of Jodhaa Akbar and even they were more entertaining than the best parts of SIK. Sadly movie revenues are now decided completely by promotional campaigns and hype than quality!
When Tashan, Ta Ra Rum Pum etc flopped, I thought that maybe finally the era of pathetic movies becoming hits will come to an end, but SIK totally raises the bar [or lowers it] to a new level!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Cool cartoon about the Beijing Olympics

Courtesy -
Aditya Gadre

This one had to be on my blog

I know i'm very late in putting this one on my blog but i had to. Brilliant! Courtesy, Yasho, Meha and xkcd!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Books, Lectures and TRDDC

Finally we guys finished our formalities and from Monday my B. Tech project will start :)
And i finally finished Atlas Shrugged and 36hrs later also finished The Enchantress Of Florence[both books are brilliant] and sadly my CPU actually caught fire coz of some short circuit so here i am in the dept lab typing a quick blog post... more to follow.